Three Simple Rules For Doing Revenge Porn On Your Ex In New York

  duckface won't save you now

And then Zeus turned himself into... let's see... something weird... swan?We have a verdict in New York’s first revenge porn case, and it’s bad news for anyone who has ever been humiliated after sending erotic self-portraits to their “main ho,” “side piece,” or “significant other,” and wants to see that person convicted of a crime, in New York:

A Manhattan judge ruled this week that a man who shared naked photos of his girlfriend on Twitter — and sent them to her sister and her boss via email — did not technically do anything illegal.

This is good news for… creeps? Brett Favre? Ha, of course the Brett Favre/Jenn Sterger/Brett Favre’s Stubby Penis incident is not analogous to this case, but it’s never a bad idea to remind people that Brett Favre texted dick pixxx to a lady, and you can still see the dick pixxx to this very day if you want to. That is the magic of the internet, and a cautionary tale that you should only trust certain people with your boudoir shots, wink, air kiss, slurred pickup line.

But I digress. Your Happy Nice Time Legal Team of me not reading the actual decision at all (but you can do that here, Happy Friday!) thinks this is more a case of the law not being sufficient to successfully prosecute revenge porn than the judge issuing a bad ruling. But there is one exception where we feel it was the judge, not the law, that was deficient: apparently putting something on Twitter is not a “public display.”

The terms of the statute clearly do not encompass either posting an image on Twitter – a subscriber-based social networking service – or sending images to a small number of private individuals, who might not even look at the email or open the attachments. Both of these are private acts.

Technically, Twitter is a “subscriber-based social networking service,” but try telling that to Anthony Weiner.

So, the Three Simple Rules for revenge porning your hottie ex on the internet: 1) Know the legal definition of “harrassment,” and don’t do it; 2) ditto “dissemination of unlawful surveillance”; and 3) Hope your judge doesn’t know much about the Tweeterz.

Harassment entails sending communications to the victim, which Barber didn’t do; unlawful surveillance requires that the images be obtained illegally, which wasn’t alleged; and nudity alone does not equal offensive sexual material, a count that also requires public display, which doesn’t include a subscription service like Twitter, the judge found.

Meanwhile, Hunter Moore — the man who, more than anyone else, turned revenge porn into a thing we talk about — is awaiting trial on federal charges of basically going way, way too far with this shit:

On multiple occasions, Moore paid Evens to break into the email accounts of victims and steal nude photos to post on the website isanyoneup.com, according to the indictment.

In other words, he’s not being tried for posting humiliating, potentially career-destroying pictures of people, because it made his dick hard. He’s going down for several counts of being an actual, conventional criminal.

On the other hand, we are not envious of the legislators charged with writing a law that stops or severely restricts revenge porn on the one hand, yet passes the First Amendment test on the other, all while not being so broad as to render large swathes of online activity illegal.

But that is exactly what’s going to happen, probably. In the meantime, don’t sext people unless you are, like, pretty sure you can credibly threaten to utterly crush them if they don’t step correct.

Follow Alex on Twitter, wink, tongue thing, fall over.

[nymagdeadspin / ny courts / ny daily news]

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  • docterry6973

    I certainly hope that Beyonce will respect my privacy now that we have drawn apart.

  • glasspusher

    I was told there would be sideboob.

  • Guest

    Happily, I live in Florida, where there is no duty to re-tweet.