You probably won’t be surprised to learn that we are globe-trotting sophisticates, and in our travels around the world, we have become quite the little falconry experts, oh yes we have. But right now we’re having to keep our falcons in subpar accommodations and it is really time we find something more befitting our – and our falcons’ – luxurious tastes. That’s where you come in when you buy us this Bespoke Global Falconry Companion:
Gazing upon your portable case and matching custom trunk, you marvel at the 20-karat gold-plated perch, hand-carved stands, leather perch scale, and hand-sewn glove, anklet, and exotic-skin hoods by Ken Hooke, the world’s preeminent falconry hood maker. A day in the countryside has never been so luxuriously appointed! Next, the furniture: Chatwin chairs and a foldout table by Richard Wrightman, the foremost designer of bespoke campaign furniture (the King of Jordan is a client). You unfold the beautiful, handmade backgammon board from Alexandra Llewellyn, pour yourself a drink from one of the lead crystal decanters, and select the cigar you’ll enjoy, using your matching cigar cutter by David Linley. The birds are ready, and your gauntlet is in place. Time to hunt!
Think of how much happier our falcons will be when they stand on their gold-plated perch. We’ve got them on silver perches right now, and it is just so shabby. Don’t make our falcons feel second rate, people!
[If you'd started buying us things sooner, you wouldn't be facing having to be looking at such a big-ticket item on our Christmas list, but right now you're like one of those people who waited too long to buy off the wedding registry. Sorry!]