Barack Obama Puts Duck Dynasty Guy In Free Speech Prison

  Free Speech Cluster Duck

Dude, you pissed off the wrong little gay ponyA&E Network has suspended Phil Robertson, star of the Duck Dynasty teevee program, following his charming opinions on teh gheys and what they do with their man-parts. In a recent interview in GQ, Robertson explained that

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

Needless to say, Robertson’s suspension is drawing angry condemnations from people who demanded that Martin Bashir be fired for suggesting that if Sarah Palin had some firsthand experience of the ugly realities of slavery, she wouldn’t compare the federal debt to that institution. Robertson is being persecuted for his Christian faith, you see, and America’s sacred tradition of free speech is under attack.

Also getting significantly less play, but just as weird, are Robertson’s charming reflections on how nice things were in the Jim Crow South:

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field. … They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’ — not a word!

“Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues,”

The blacks, they were happy back then, and he oughta know, because he was there, and not one black person ever complained to a white kid about racism.

A&E’s statement Wednesday was about as apologetically bland as you’d expect:

“We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series Duck Dynasty … His personal views in no way reflect those of A+E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”

This management decision by a private company was evidence to all the usual suspects that, as Sarah Palin said on her facespace page:

Free speech is an endangered species. Those “intolerants” hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.

Don’t you people understand that under the First Amendment, people are allowed to have their own personal opinions and can never be criticized for them? And that when the owners of a teevee network decide what to do about an idiot they employ, that is censorship and a threat to freedom. We are losing our sacred right to use our fame to espouse abhorrent opinions about what other people do with their genitals. On the other hand, if someone says something mean about Sarah Palin, then you know, Palin thinks that it’s appropriate that they face the consequences, or, in Palinese,

“Those with that platform, with a microphone, a camera in their face, they have to have some more responsibility taken.”

Unless, of course, they’re expressing their personal opinions about vaginas, penises, anuses, and the happy darkies never complainin’ in the good ole times — and those personal opinions are shared by many other Real Americans who do not want to think about such things.

In any case, it is the Left that is intolerant and hypocritical, because, as John Nolte explains at Dead Breitbart’s Home For Carefully Parsed Rationalizations, Phil Robertson was condemning sin, not homosexuals, and he also condemned heterosexual sin as well when he said,

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong… Sin becomes fine. Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” Robertson then paraphrased Corinthians from the Bible: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

See? He only said that the anus-pokers are the worst of a bad lot, so that is not bigotry, QED. And after all, Robertson simply said out loud what everyone pretty much suspected he and his family thought all along, but were too careful to say in front of A&E’s cameras. Still, gotta remember, it is not bigoted, it is just plain Christian. As Nolte puts it,

The sexuality bar for Christianity is pretty high for everyone, and relating that fact is not bigotry, it is spreading the Gospel.

Robertson is also talking about homosexual sexual behavior, not homosexuals as human beings. That is all the difference in the world.

Also, too, the Left is terribly hypocritical, since GLAAD condemned Robertson’s published statements in a magazine interview, but not Alec Baldwin’s homophobic rant that got him canned.

Strangely, though, we can’t think of a single petition demanding that Alec Baldwin or Martin Bashir be re-hired by MSNBC, or anyone in the liberal blogosphere having a cow over how the First Amendment was threatened when those guys lost their jobs.

[Breitbart / CNN / Facebook / GQ]

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  • Hammiepants

    Who the fuck ARE these inbred cretins and why are they famous? They hunt ducks? Raise ducks? Fuck ducks? Suddenly, they are EVERYWHERE.

    • Duckler

      They’re frauds, they were a wealthy family (all with college degrees) that saw the dumbing-down of television, grew beards, acted like brain-dead rednecks, and cashed in on “reality” TV.

  • Cha Li Darling

    Riiiight?

  • HeraSentMe

    Always being the victim, whether it’s for what you say or because of what others say about you, is a vital component of the Palin, et al self image.

  • andreamd

    If the show was about real ducks(which is what I thought it was), there would be no problem. Humans are the dumb hateful bigots on this planet

    • ADHDJ

      Do yourself a favor and don’t read up on the genitalia of ducks and why they’re shaped that way… brutish little monsters.

  • EmmettGrogan

    Sarah Palin gives us yet another brilliant science lecture:
    “Free speech is an endangered species”
    Stupid twatwaffle doesn’t even know what a species is. Protip for Sarah: free speech is’nt any kind of species. Species are various life forms. Which you are not Sarah.

  • Lazy Media

    There’s no more excuse for this idiot than there is for Paula Deen. He’s a baby boomer. He was a teenager in the 1960s. He wouldn’t know De Good Ole Days if Uncle Remus kicked him square in the nuts.

    • scott

      You’re correct but maybe a good kick square in the nuts would help to shut his mouth for a time. Well, if it wasn’t wrapped around some guy’s dick out in some duck blind.

  • splashy79

    What part of free speech don’t folks get? You can say what you want, and the GOVERNMENT can’t stop you, but you might lose your job if you are employed by a business/corporation if it hurts their bottom line.

    It’s quite simple. Businesses are NOT covered under free speech.

    • notpilgrims2

      Some people think that A&E should be supporting freedom of expression. That is the claim of Phil Robertson’s supporters.

      In fact, many people also thought Martin Bashir shouldn’t have been fired simply for making comments about Sarah Palin being defecated upon. These two instances are similar that they both fired someone for expressing something, proving that both A&E and MSNBC don’t value freedom of expression. It is a sad testament that people are scared about how they should express themselves, especially when it comes to not offending Princess Sarah Palin.

  • Farb

    Won’t someone please sang da man sum blues?! Blind Mellow Jelly be rollin in his grave after hearin this stuff!

  • Swampgas_Man

    The fact that this dude was being interviewed by fucking GQ is sadder than any of his bullshit opinions.

  • Paul J

    I actually feel sorry for him. Ignorance is sad, and it’s passed down from one generation to another. His kids will have trouble learning how to put themselves in someone else’s and walk around in them a while. Maybe the criticism will sink in if it’s done right.

    • shawnthesheep

      He does not deserve your pity. Robertson admits that he was a drunk and a heathen back in the 60′s before finding THE LORD. He’s a born-again bigot. Besides, tons of people who grew up with bigoted parents rejected that bigotry.

  • Guppy06

    It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus.

    Why is it always that false dichotomy? What about a woman’s anus or a man’s mouth? What about lesbians in general?

    Don’t they have The Internet down on de bayou?

    • moelarryandjesus

      Plus he didn’t specify a woman’s vagina. He probably places cow and sheep and pig vaginas above man anus. He gives off that kind of vibe.

      • notpilgrims2

        I suppose there would be something wrong with beastiality? It’s “unnatural”? Funny, you attacked Phil Robertson for making comments that were critical of homosexuality.

        • moelarryandjesus

          Are you as stupid as you seem to be based on your comments? You’re an incoherent goober.

          And it’s “bestiality,” not “beastiality.” Now step away from that pig.

  • moelarryandjesus

    The blacks, they were happy back then, and he oughta know, because he
    was there, and not one black person ever complained to a huge, heavily-armed white kid from an extended clan of huge, heavily-armed white people about
    racism.

    Fixed a little.

    • notpilgrims2

      He said that he was working in the fields as a farmhand. He didn’t say that he was walking around with weapons aimed at African-Americans and intimidating them.

  • moelarryandjesus

    Terry Bradshaw must be dreading the questions about this…

    And yes, there’s a strong connection…

  • hellslittlestangel

    So black people invented the blues without ever singing the blues. How the fuck did that work?

  • hellslittlestangel

    Faster than a speeding bullet.
    Colder than a witch’s tit.
    More desirable than a man’s anus.

  • notpilgrims2

    The same people who are saying that Martin Bashir shouldn’t be fired are now saying that Phil Robertson should be fired.