It's day three of our True Detective marathon! We last left Colin Ferrell in a bloody heap with shotgun wounds all over his body, but don't worry nothing comes of that. Also, there's lots of police investigation stuff, but nothing comes of that either. Not coming is also a major theme. Read more
Did you know that "Scream" and "Scream Queens" are two entirely different TV series? Well, maybe not ENTIRELY different. Rumor is Jamie Lee Curtis showed up for the first three weeks of shooting on the wrong show before anyone noticed. Read more
God keeps throwing tornadoes at the good Christian people of Texas rather than targeting his vengeance directly at those bastard Supreme Court Justices causing all the problems. What's up with that, a 700 Club viewer wants to know. Read more
Our True Detective Season 2 marathon continues with a recap a day until we catch up. This week, proof that guns don't kill people. Or at least not people whose names appear in the opening credits. Better luck next time, bird-face! Read more
Somewhere in Alabamy, a drama queen called Bob k. became so ENRAGED by Caitlyn Jenner's getting an ESPN Courage Award that he shot his TV with a gun, videoed it, and put it on the YouTube in the hopes of starting a movement. Read more
Nearly half of today's children 12 and under think being forced to watch cable TV is punishment, but they also think yogurt is something you drink from a tube. There's really no winners here. Read more
HNTP is taking on True Detective! One recap a day until we catch up! Please welcome our new recapper Joannes Truyens to the fold as we kick off Season 2 of TV's most existentially depressing cop show since The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo. Read more
Do you like My Little Pony?! Cool, which one is your favorite?
No, I mean to masturbate to.
The masses have spoken, and the answer is… Rainbow Dash.
Turns out Pornhub keeps track of these things.
They’re monitoring who searches for what, and while they’re not releasing any ... Read more
Season 1 of Wayward Pines ends with both a bang and a whimper. The human race at the height of its power and technology couldn't stop the rise of the mutant aberrations, but they can't handle one unfrozen dude with one backpack of C4? Bulls#*t. Read more
How much money would you shell out for the rights to "Do the Bartman"? If it's more than you've got in your couch cushions right now, we're about to prove your entire childhood was a lie. Step inside and let us disillusion you. Read more
Apparently the secret to staying alive in Deutschland 83 is not to be remotely competent at the whole spying thing, because those who are keep sacrificing themselves for those who aren't. More death, betrayal, and prostitutes in this week's recap. Read more
How is it that an anthropomorphic cartoon horse can be one of the most realistic portrayals of depression on television? And, as impressive of a feat as that is, is that something we should want to watch? Read more
Miramax is reportedly going up for sale for $1 billion, and since it’s got a TV division, we figure it’s ripe for the pickin’ for HNTP. All we need is for each of you, our loyal friends and supporters, to kick in a little something, Kickstarter-style. Read more
To those of us olds who remember the 1980s, Jim Bakker will always have a special place in our hearts for acting out the exact type of televangelical scandal we all suspected was the underside of godbiz.
The persecution of the Christians actually started under Reagan. Who knew?
Jim and his ... Read more
HNTP presents: Life Lessons for White People. Today's class: Subtle signs that the smiling, laughing, self-effacing black man in front of you might be making a joke, even if he uses a bad word. Read more